James Alison and Catholicism’s “Field of Mendacity” about Homosexuality
July 23rd, 2011 § 14 Comments
On my recent trip to the west coast, I decided to reread James Alison’s excellent On Being Liked (2003). I’m stunned, as I wrote in my most recent journal entry, by Alison’s perceptiveness and prescience in the book. In it, he defines what he calls a field or area of mendacity in the Catholic Church when it comes to speaking about homosexuality, especially in the Church’s definition of this category of human beings: the homosexual tendency though not itself a sin, constitutes a tendency towards behavior that is intrinsically evil, and therefore must be considered objectively disordered (Letter on the Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons, 1986). Note well: this behavior–male/male and female/female sexual intimacy–is always and everywhere intrinsically evil, irrespective of context: from bathroom stall with a stranger to love-making with one’s monogamous spouse.
Alison points out that what’s at issue for Catholics is not an understanding of how God worked our salvation, but of who we are who are being saved. So, I would like to say that what I think we find ourselves inhabiting is an area of mendacity–if you like, a field formed by a dishonesty that is both structural and customary, rather than an erroneous doctrine. It is the area of mendacity which has informed our doctrine, and it is the area of mendacity which is now being challenged by new possibilities of finding ourselves accountable to the truth of what is.
That truth is this: gay people exist.
We exist, and God made us this way–and/or “nature,” and/or “genetics,” and/or “culture,” and/or some combination of these forces. And we are not badly made, as I long feared about myself, but differently made. We are not inclined to an “objective disorder,” but are part of the natural order itself, as so many studies of our fellow created animals have revealed. For most people not steeped in Catholic theology, this truth cannot possibly come as a shock, but Alison’s insights herald a revolution in Catholic thinking about sexuality that is only beginning to unfold.
As more of us pronounce publicly “I am gay” and “I am Catholic,” the immorality of the Church’s stance on gay people will become clearer and the field of mendacity more obvious. There have long, perhaps always, been gay members of the Catholic hierarchy who could and would hide the truth of their desires, sometimes even from themselves, and be rewarded by a system of institutionalized closetedness. The premodern term for those attracted to the same sex is “sodomite,” and, like “gay,” that term, as Mark Jordan has pointed out, was always a description of a “them” and never part of “us” (on this, see Jordan’s The Invention of Sodomy in Christian Theology).
The American bishops’ 1997 document on this topic, “Always Our Children,” is firmly rooted in this tradition: both othering and infantilizing, and one can determine this simply from its title. Gay people are “children” rather than grown-ups, and though “ours”–that is, “they” are our misbegotten babies–they’re not part of an “us” that speaks about them as children and condemns any acting out on their basic sexual desires, even in the context of a loving commitment. Gay people, for our part, can never speak as the Church or as part of the Church, at least of officially, only towards it and often against it. We are the proverbial black sheep of the Church, unable or unwilling to accept that our deepest physical desires are inherently disordered.
Well. I am gay. And I am a Catholic priest. Despite my sins, mistakes, and uncertainties I have a strong desire to embrace and live within both of these categories. Alison associates this position with what he calls the place of shame, occupied by someone who has been victimized by group scapegoating and othering. When this figure returns to the shaming group as a forgiving victim, he or she risks violence by short-circuiting the logic of the group that maintains its coherence by defining an “us” (putatively heterosexual and celibate hierarchy) versus a “them” (the “objectively disordered”):
The person who can occupy the place of shame without caring what the group thinks of him is of course a particular threat to those who have most at stake in maintaining the group identity, which is to say, those for whom the place of shame is felt to be something close to them, something that they especially fear to occupy themselves.
John, so good to read your new blog posts. I love Alison’s work and in many ways “On Being Liked” is one of my favorites because of the challenge he lays towards us gay clerics to speak up. I have tried at times in the past but more recently I have shied away from more public interventions (i.e. I clandestinely support the work of the HRC, Catholics for Equality, and New Ways Ministries). There is still a big part of me that is afraid to come out in my role as priest. But I don’t think the fear is so much what others may think (or do to me!); though I do fear this some, it is more my own fear of being in that place of shame. I’m really afraid about whether or not I have the strength to live out of that place as a forgiving victim. There is still perhaps so much anger in me (i.e. I want to make “them” feel as bad as they’ve made me feel about myself over the years.) Can I occupy the place of shame and not get drowned in that inner darkness again? Can I occupy that place of shame and be strong enough not to run? Can I be a forgiving victim so the cycle of violence and scapegoating stops? The risks are real. Alison himself found that out… I have to ask myself: what am I afraid to lose? These are the questions I think anyone who has gotten involved with civil rights issues have had to ask themselves. I don’t think we can do this alone. Somehow clergy have got to come together (like the priests in the NY Times front page story today, who have come together and taken risks in support of ordaining women). Your blog and its intense honesty is a huge step in the right direction; but how do we come together to support each other and encourage each other to occupy the place of shame and to work intentionally to be forgiving victims so the Church can finally begin to treat its gay brothers and sisters with the respect and dignity they deserve?
John, thank you for this. For all of us gay Catholics, coming out in church is a challenge. For priests, the challenge and risks are so much greater.
You are not alone, of course. I had the privilege of speaking to James Alison over dinner last month, when he made the observation that anybody who believes the often-quoted figure that 40% of priests are gay, is deluding himself- the real figure is much higher. In South America, he believes, there is hardly any priest at all who is not either gay, or in a heterosexual relationship.
If all these gay priests could come out openly, it would transform the Church response, just as coming out in the secular world has transformed the secular discourse on LGBT equality. The problem, of course, is “if”. For most of you guys, coming out completely is simply not possible.
Coming out though, is a process, not an event. My perception is that there are an increasing number of priests who are prepared to put at least a toe out of the closet: as with “John” here, who writes frankly but anonymously, or “Bart”, who writes a weekly column at my own blog, “Queering the Church”, and others who maintain their own blogs, with varying degrees of self-disclosure – or yourself, in sharing a comment here.
My perception is that this trickle will soon become a welcome flood. Each small act of openness will make it easier for those who follow. Many, many thanks to you, and to “John” for your contributions to this process.
If you, or anybody else, would like to enter private correspondence on this, write to me at terence@queerchurch.com
Terence–
I very much appreciate your comments. I too hope that the “trickle” of out gay priests will become a “flood.” Judging from my own experience, I can only affirm James Alison’s estimate of the percentage gay men in the clergy. I sincerely believe that the only way significantly to reduce the “field of mendacity” that informs and surrounds the Catholic Church’s teaching on homosexuality is for those of us who perceive and reject it in our own ways to say “enough!”–that we will be a part of it no longer. Thanks too for reminding me that coming out is an unfolding process. It’s tough, however, not to want to make grand gestures when our hierarchs do their best to silence what they consider to be dissent on this and other significant topics. I know that I’m “out” in a peculiar way on this blog, that is, pseudonymously, but I’m not sure how else to tell the truth of my life’s story without exposing to criticism and censure my friends and those I love and have loved.
As Jonah points out in his response, Alison’s exhortation to take on the role of “forgiving victim,” which he has himself done his best to embody, asks a lot from those of us less courageous and theologically supple (and I mean that as a compliment) than he. It is indeed in its own way to become Christ, or Christ-like, in the extreme. But isn’t this the Christian call, even the universal human call, to allow Christ, in Gerard Manley Hopkins’ words, to play “in ten thousand places,/ Lovely in limbs, and lovely in eye’s not his,/ To the Father through the features of [hu]man faces”? I am heartened by the words of that Victorian gay (queer? sodomitical? Uranian? inverted? etc) priest and by yours.
Very best, John.
Terence,
Thanks for your comments. I was especially taken by what you wrote about “process” and what John wrote below quoting Hopkins. I think my “inner drag queen” wants to make a big show of it—one big sweeping gesture. But the question is can you walk step by step, taking the risk here and there and allow God to unfold where God is leading? As in the Hopkins quote we “become” Christ… it is a process that requires our attention and willingness to leap when the leaping time comes. As Hopkins writes in another poem, we have to trust that “God knows when to God knows what.” I could muster a grand gesture, but do I have the stamina for the long haul? Do I have the courage to trust what is even unfolding right now in this conversation and where it could lead? For me the big challenge is to keep doing the inner spiritual work… I think of a quote from Teresa of Avila who in teaching her sisters about prayer said that God wants you to go down into the divine wine cellar, and he doesn’t want you to just “sip” the wine but he wants you to get “drunk” on it because he is going to send you out into the world to act. Now that’s my rendition of the quote, but I like it because it reminds me that if I keep doing the work, taking the little risk here and there… God will know when to God knows what in my life. Terence I will take you up on that private correspondence and I will be in touch under the guise of my “self.” Thanks for your work as well! Jonah
Thank you for stressing the importance of stating publicly “I am Catholic”, and “I am gay”. In the secular sphere, the most important gains were made after we started to come out in significant numbers. As we did so, we made it easier for others (especially younger people) to follow, and helped those around us to see real people behind the myths and the stereotypes.
Exactly the same logic applies to coming out in church – only more so, Vatican doctrine is built on a flimsy foundation of myths, lies and self-deception by sexually stunted, closeted oligarchs. As you correctly point out, the more we come out as gay Catholics, the easier it becomes for others to see beyond the shameful charades – and recognize the dire need to reconstruct Catholic sexual ethics, this time from the ground up, incorporating the insights of those with real world experience of sexual relationships, and of family.
However, we must also recognize that coming out is a process, not an event. For some people (especially for priests like yourself), it’s not a realistic option at all, except to oneself, and to God. For others, only halfway out is possible
So, we need to come out, and to encourage others to come out, as far as is possible in their specific circumstances – and then, perhaps, a few more steps later.
I’m normally one to ponder and mull over thoughts to these posts, rarely commenting because by the time I’ve formulated a response, the discussion’s changed, or I’m absorbed by other tasks of the offline world, or by a different challenge in the Church. But Terence, I did want to offer a few thoughts on your comment about coming out, being out: “For some people (especially for priests like yourself), it’s not a realistic option at all, except to oneself, and to God.”
Terence, I think I see what you’re getting at here, but I’m of the opinion that this particular stance is much of what is beyond great dysfunction in the Church, as well as significant personal costs and challenges in the lives of many priests who are called to serve.
“Silence=Death”, the ACT-UP slogan, made a great bumpersticker, but also carries great truth and wisdom beyond just that specific context. Living in this world, but doing so without truly being known and loved by others for who one truly is, without experiencing the risk as well as the grace of that intimacy is NOT (in my opinion) “life”. It’s a charade, a farce – and most critically, the burden of maintaining the secrecy contributes to a sense of shame that who one is – who God made one to be – is somehow not worthy of respect and love. For those who are laity but not out, the tragedy is personal and familial, extending to loved ones who may never truly know the truth of a person’s life. One exists in a state of questioning, “Would anyone still love me if they knew?” – and can never trust the strength of any relationships out of fear of the answer.
When maintaining that secrecy and the shame becomes part of the job description of those who are called and ordained by God to bring the good news of Christ’s compassion, mercy, and grace to the world, it’s nothing short of scandal. It’s a sickness in the Church, all too often manifest in damage to the emotional, spiritual, and physical health of our priests. To the extent that we encourage the broad maintenance of that silence, and suggest that they cannot experience that same human experience of being able to articulate the truth of their lives to some others – and to believe, then, that they are truly known and loved as who they are, we are complicit in that illness ourselves. It’s that radical honesty that dispels shame, and in its absence we condemn both our clergy and our Church to continued dysfunction, or worse.
I’m the last one to advocate for any sort of wholesale public coming out of the clergy. I’m even rather uneasy about the degree to which Fr. JohnQ, Bart (on your site) and a small handful of other gay priests and religious are present online, even pseudonymously. FrJohnQ writes above about his discernment and wariness about the scope of the “grand gestures” that he and others similarly situated may be called to make, and that’s obviously something that we can’t fully assess, not being in that position. I do think it’s incumbent upon us, though, to continue to stress the importance of priests coming out to those people in their lives who can reflect the truth of their goodness in God’s eyes as well, and to affirm that the shaming, toxic language of the institutional Church – language that many must uphold, or at least not publicly contradict – simply isn’t true – not for us, and not for them, either. Of course even such careful, limited coming out is a risk, but I’m increasingly convinced that not doing so is an even greater risk – to the priest, to the Church, to us all.
Ella, I agree. Perhaps my passing reference to some people for whom coming out is simply not an option was too glib.
In fact, my position, which I have often stated, is absolutely clear: I encourage every one of us to come out as far as we are able – recognising that this is not equally possible for all. The first step is to come out to oneself and to God, and then to close friends. Each step makes the next one easier, for oneself, and ultimately for others.
I encourage all clergy who can come out, to do so – at least to trusted friends, just as you do. If possible, I hope they can do more, and honour and celebrate those who have found it possible to do so publicly.
BUT: I also urge caution and discretion in the process. For a priest to come out can risk not only a job, but an entire career, housing, “family”, and just about his entire life. These risks must be carefully evaluated – and only the priest himself can really do that.
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I studied at a Vatican seminary, ordained a priest and happily served for 5 years. But I felt the pull between being a priest and being gay, in myself and witnessed it in others. I wrote about my journey in the book “That undeniable Longing-My Journey to and from the Priesthood” by Mark Tedesco. Let me know what you think of my story.
Dear Mark, I just ordered your book. Thanks for suggesting it! –John
Dear John,
Please know most of your parishoners would love you just as much
regardless of this most private issue. If our priest ever lost his job because of this, we would help him: We love him!!!
Thanks so much for the supportive comment!